Fine - This is the word
women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut
up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have
one of those arguments.


Five Minutes - This is half
an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going
to last before you take out the rubbish, so it’s an even trade.

Nothing - This means “something”, and you should be on
your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of
wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually
signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with “Fine”.


Go Ahead - At some point in the near future, you
are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

Go Ahead (With
Raised Eyebrows) - This is a dare. One that will result in a woman
getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.


Go Ahead (Neutral Expression) - This means “I give
up” or “do what you want because I don’t care” You will get a “Raised Eyebrow Go
Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk
to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.


Loud
Sigh - This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that
moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with
you over “Nothing”.

Soft Sigh - Again, not a word, but
a non-verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” mean that she is content. Your best bet is
to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
That’s Okay - This is one
of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man.

“That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and
hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay”
is often used with the word “Fine” and in conjunction with a “Raised Eyebrow”.

Please Do - This is not a statement, it is an offer. A
woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you
have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with
the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.


Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not faint.
Just say you’re welcome.


Thanks A Lot - This is
much different from “Thanks.” A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is
really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some
callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh.” Be careful not to ask what
is wrong after the “Loud Sigh,” as she will only tell you “Nothing”.